“Cooler in Theory”… Celebration in Finding and Creating Representation

NOTE: This was originally published in the 2020 Asian-American anthology zine Legacies: Celebration. This project was very near and dear to my heart, and I hope that shows. Please support the additional contributors/find out more about the project here. Finally, all ideas here are my own.

One thing social media has very quickly taught me was that everything is better in theory. Every piece of modern content I’ve consumed, even if I found temporary enjoyment in it, has been deemed lacking in some way. Something is either trying too hard, or not enough. Content is pandering, or it’s impacted by an agenda. Everything is better in theory.

Quite frankly, it’s hard not to internalize that message. Everything about me is quote unquote “cooler in theory”. Being Asian, in particular, was cooler in theory. Growing up, kids thinking Mulan or taekwondo or 김밮 (gimbap) or bubble tea was cool… to a certain extent. Asian American celebration was cool to experience, but in observation only. It was foreign and exotic and different and that was good… from a distance. Asian American staples were fun and quirky to watch, but nothing more than that.

That perception of culture messed with my sense of self for a very long time. I had the experience of growing up in a distinctly Asian Americana-esque environment, that is the weird melding of the Western generalization of East Asian culture. The thing is, growing up like this distorts not only you, but your own…